Lessons learned

I had planned this post to be about age, as I was graced with another year about a week ago. I changed my mind though; just felt more fitting for the mood I was in to reflect on some of the most impactful lessons at this point in my life, and share them here.

Accept what is.

We sometimes have a hard time grappling with challenges life throws at us, which is fair enough. It can however get quite tiring to try and negate certain realities, when we have no control over them.

Our human nature doesn’t allow us to accept “defeat” willingly; but the fact is fighting reality, what is, is the best way to get stuck in a distorted reality and not progress.

The lesson is that humility is the sure way forward, but it can also be excruciatingly hard. Control the controllable as I tend to say; if it works out as planned, perfect; if it doesn’t, then it wasn’t meant to be.

I want to accept what is, with grace. Not because it would make me feel elevated, but truly because I need to, for my sanity.

Don’t judge too fast…

After seeing the movie The Black Panther 2 years ago, a real cultural phenomenon, I became a fervent admirer of the actor who plays the main character, Chadwick Boseman. After watching a few of his interviews, I became a stan haha! If you’ve seen the movie, you’ll remember he looked quite buff in it…And then his silhouette got slimmer, then a bit more slimmer; why does he need to lose weight? He looked just fine before…Is it for a role? He’s overdoing it…These were my thoughts. And earlier this year, I saw a video of him, he looked gaunt…Definitely preparing for a role…

2 days before my birthday, the news of his untimely death broke.

The physical transformation we were witnessing – and judging – was the testimony of the biggest fight of his life.

Forming an opinion of a person or a situation without knowing the full picture is not something I would like to carry on doing carelessly. This is one of the reasons why I don’t rate platforms like Instagram; although photographs are supposed to capture a soul, they do not speak really…They might give you a hint of a truth, but which truth?

Perfection is a scam…

Perfection is an illusory notion I was very much attached to until recently…how exhausting – and sometimes unrewarding – that can be! Chasing perfection is a gateway to stifling our growth and creativity, and encouraging anxiety.

I’ve come to the realisation at this point in my life that the journey to my authentic self is my version of perfection. Becoming me is perfection. Leaning fully into who I am inherently – my character traits, flaws and all – is perfection.

Authenticity is scary though, it exposes us in a way that makes us vulnerable to our fellow humans. But boy oh boy does it feel good when you hit the mark; that sweet spot where you don’t really care much who thinks what about you haha!

Being unapologetically your true self is however fair to others and us actually; it means offering your whole self to the world, your exceptionality that can only be enriching for All.

Be The Leading Act of Your Life!

Have you sometimes felt like standing on the sidelines of your life?

It’s a very common and perfectly acceptable feeling, as long as passivity doesn’t become the norm; the best team players in sport have all experienced spending some time on the “bench”; movie leading actors – unless in some obscure French artsy movies – share the limelight with the supporting acts.

Leading movie stars are so appealing though aren’t they? That’s exactly the role I want to play in my life. I want to reclaim my time (thank you Maxine Waters) most of the time, shine bright in my space and lead my life with Intentionality. Purpose. Power. Confidence.

Heck I want to be the Beyonce-at Coachella of my life 90% of the time! I’ll leave the 10% to life getting in the way…

My mother often refers to this shortened Jean-Paul Sartre quote, “l’homme n’est rien d’autre que ce qu’il se fait (…)”. The beauty of it is, we have it in us to be the leading act of our life. No need to audition. We just need to want it – want it, and we’re the star of our life.

And other lessons…

  • Anxiety is a liar
  • Love always wins. Always.
  • Ego is overrated
  • Netflix is crap…

What valuable lessons come to your mind as you’re reading this?

10 thoughts on “Lessons learned

Add yours

  1. Merci Deborah pour ce partage que j’ai lu et relu depuis ce matin.

    J’en retiens 3 choses essentielles :
    1) L’exceptionnalité de chacun.e : Oscar Wilde “Soyez vous-même, les autres sont déjà pris !”
    2) L’acceptation (du combat parfois et qui peut mener à une forme d’apaisement)
    3) Vivre en conscience


  2. Ne jugeons pas trop vite les autres.C’est l’erreur que nous commettons chaque fois.L’apparence est parfois très trompeuse et nous devons prendre le temps d’analyser et de comprendre les agissements des uns et des autres.Deborah merci pour ce rappel.Go ahead.


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