WHAT’S GONE IS GONE

I was extremely annoyed earlier this week, because a couple of weeks ago I wrote 2 fantastic drafts – if I do say so myself; one on patriarchy, and the other on process vs destination. Where is the notebook I wrote them in? Not a clue…Me writing this piece is evidence I’ve surrendered to the punishing universe, and accepted that I need to sit down and write from scratch…

Lemon into lemonade…let’s talk about hanging on to lost things…

I’m sure many of us have that thing like I clearly do, that makes us hold on to past things like dear life, wasting precious time waiting for the past to be present again. Oftentimes we are bound to accept that what’s gone is gone though, sadly or luckily…

Why is it that we find it hard to let go?

The first thing that springs to mind is confidence or lack thereof; we feel as if without the possession or person we’ve lost, we cannot move forward. We’re stuck where they’ve left us and are scared to take the next step. Scared to start afresh because what if we don’t do or feel as good as before?

We tend to forget that before that thing or that person, we were functioning in some way shape or form, and can certainly do so again on this side of the fence, even if it could mean stepping out afraid, with shaky legs…

Another thing that makes letting go arduous is habit; getting used to a routine, a someone or a thing, be it a pleasant experience or not. Thinking that what is behind was surely better than today, sometimes unconsciously refusing to look at things through an objective lens.

Habit is a formidable comfort blanket nobody gets rid of with pleasure. The uncertainty of the new can take away the potential excitement towards the unknown.

The past is a place to learn from, not to live in.

Being realistic and letting go can not only help us turn the page when needed, it also enables us to appreciate the positive in the past without being enslaved to it. We can look at the past with the necessary distance (which can prove a tall order), take out the good (if applicable) and let go of the rest, and move forward (albeit reluctantly or with great difficulty).

Even ex partners who reconcile can only thrive by creating a new dynamic in the relationship…

Coming back to my lost drafts, I might not have found them yet, but this incident has inspired me to reflect on this subject matter and write about it. At the end of the day, I can write… I’m just starting to view and treat life as a package; not just intellectually but in the practical, in my everyday life.

Trying to walk the walk…