EXISTENTIAL ANGST

I’m convinced you’ve sometimes felt utterly useless or powerless facing a situation so much bigger than yourself…so much to fix, to remedy, not much you can do.

This is exactly how I felt a couple of days ago when I heard about the passing of a family friend in Cameroon, left me heartbroken. It’s not like I was particularly close to him, but he was more of an uncle figure I would revere, with many many fond memories of us as neighbours.

Such a nice guy, not the easiest of lives he’s had…

The weight of the geographical distance, financial limitations and my mere mortality hit me hard; I couldn’t do much or at least I didn’t do much to impact his life, living far away making it even trickier.

 A lot of ambitions, but so many limitations…So many things to see and experience in the world that many of us haven’t had the joy of accessing in their lifetime; the luxury to stop and smell the flowers, discover a new country, take paid holidays…

Life begins on the other side of despair – Jean-Paul SARTRE

Words are not enough to describe the despair in my soul, and how small I felt while being told about his challenging living conditions.

Emotions are (un)fortunately fleeting, just like circumstances, so the sinking feelings have since then subsided.

However, what is inescapable is the vital reminder to be grateful for the simple and not so simple pleasures…Reminder to express the whole me, step out even fearful and have an impact, because every second somebody wishes they could breathe again like me.